I wonder what I would say if I had the chance to go back in time to have a conversation with my 17 year-old self. What wisdom could I share with that Charae; that could have an impact and help her make better decisions for herself?
Of course, I know that we can’t go back and change the past. Dr. Don Eastman once said, “your life will get so much better when you give up the hope of having a better past.” So, that’s not what this is about.
This is about sharing my 40-something-year old wisdom. It’s about reaching the person who needs to hear it the most. And the thing is, by sharing these gems, I hope someone gets the answers, confirmation, encouragement, and insight they have been praying for to help them move forward.
This is not an all-inclusive list of every piece of wisdom I would give; but these were the first to come to mind. I could easily come up with a dozen more bits of sage advice to help my 17 year-old self, but here are my top five.
One.
Mistakes, failures, and heartbreak are not the end of the world. You will understand that learning from our mistakes helps us to become better. It’s like taking a test. You study, take the test, and if you’ve gotten anything wrong, you’re either given the answer or an opportunity to find out what you did wrong. The point is that those corrections are meant to help you improve and do better.
That’s how life is. We face tests regularly. Sometimes we get it right. Sometimes we get it wrong. But when we learn from our mistakes, we get better. (Bonus points if you learn from others’ mistakes and avoid some situations altogether.) Dr. Maya Angelo said, “when you know better, you do better.” Making mistakes, learning how to fail forward are all a part of growing up.
Two.
Don’t worry about who likes you or who doesn’t. That’s not nearly as important as respecting and being respected by others. Learn how to set boundaries for yourself as early as possible. There is a great book called “Boundaries” by Dr. Henry Cloud* that I highly recommend. It will help you determine what boundaries you need to set, why they are important, how to set them, and how to enforce them. Set your boundaries, remain your beautifully authentic self, and you will be just fine. (*Please note this is an affiliate link, and any purchase will result in my earning a commission. This does not affect your purchase or increase your purchase price of this item.)
Three.
Help others, but please don’t neglect yourself. You’ve heard the phrase “you can’t pour from an empty cup“? That means you can’t give what you don’t have. And in order to be helpful to others your mental, physical, and financial health will all need your regular attention and care.
Make self-care a habit. Add a line item to your monthly budget. Set aside time on your calendar to spend time with yourself. Read. Journal. Meditate. Pray. Whatever you do, be intentional about taking care of yourself.
Four.
Always remember your worth, and then at tax! I know God created billions of people, but I have still convinced myself that I am His favorite. He wants me to be happy, to thrive, to make a difference, and do good. And because He wants that for me, I also believe I deserve it. So, because I deserve God‘s best, accepting anything less would be settling for the mediocre. And we are definitely NOT mediocre.
Don’t let other people devalue you. When you realize that people treat you based on how they see themselves, it will help you to have compassion and grace for them. But you will also appreciate that their opinion of you does not have to become your reality (Les Brown). You wouldn’t let someone who knows nothing about diamonds appraise the value of the world famous Hope Diamond*, would you? Of course not. So why would you let someone who knows nothing of your worth have so much sway or influence over you and how you think of or value yourself? Yeah, let’s not do that, OK?
*By the way, according to Wikipedia, the Hope Diamond is 45.52 carats and its estimated value is between $200M-$350M US.
Five.
You are a force to be reckoned with. It’s true. You are a phenom. Deep down, you know you were meant for something great. You know you have the drive and ability to make awesome things happen. To do great things! And it’s normal to feel scared or apprehensive when you think of your future or the choices you have to make. But you can also embrace that tinge of excitement and the butterflies you feel. Lean into that eagerness and push through those fears. The sooner you accept that you can have a powerful impact on people’s lives, the better.
Life is not going to always be easy. That’s why it’s important to be grounded spiritually and connected to a supportive network and community. It makes life so much better and exciting. Your future… OUR future… is directly connected to the decisions that you make TODAY.
Do yourself a favor and learn how to trust yourself and that you are making the right decisions. You’ll get it right more times than not, and you’ve got to learn how to celebrate those wins, big and small.
You’ve had a good life so far, and God has so much more in store for you. Let’s get ready, because what’s to come is going to be out of this world!
You know, this is not just about what I wish I could tell my past self. This is also about what my future self is telling me today. These lessons are ingrained in me now. And while the past can’t be changed, I believe the future is still to be written. Right? And what better way to ensure this wisdom carries on than sharing it here?
What we do today affects our tomorrow. So if we want better for ourselves, then it’s time to take it to the next level. Growth is an uncomfortable but necessary and rewarding part of life.
For just a second, imagine the life you’ve always wanted. Envision yourself living the life of your dreams. Whether it’s a dream career or business. Whether it’s settling with that special person, relocating to a different state, or traveling around the world, ask yourself, what’s stopping me?
And before you can talk yourself out of your own dreams, remember, circumstances can be changed. Just because something is what you’ve always known doesn’t mean better isn’t available to or for you.
If you can dream it, it’s possible.
As a business consultant and virtual assistant, I help emerging entrepreneurs start their businesses, and I support existing business owners organize and grow their current businesses. If you want to know more about how I can help your current or future business, let’s schedule a time to chat. Visit https://Charae.as.me/hello to schedule a free appointment. Or send an email to Charae.Metevia@mbsllcmd.com.
Looking forward,
-Charae